November 10th, 2015

(no subject)

I've had lifelong issues with my bladder, which I recently discovered can only hold 300ml if that. I've been toying w/ the idea of having a suprapubic catheter for a long time, & recently decided to go ahead with it. I can be fine, & then my bladder feels like velvet. I can be literally shaking & crying due to needing the bathroom so badly. I can't bear weight, so it would literally be easier for me to live on the toilet. I wear a pendant round my neck & prefer free-flowing clothing , but before staff get to me I've had epic leakage. Staff mostly do, are very kind (unlike the other facilities I stayed in) & have tried to persuade me NOT to have a catheter.

I know lots of people who do, who sit up straighter & generally look 10x happier than I do. I've tried everything, gigantic adult diapers, multiple adult diapers, meditation, restriction of fluid, bladder training ( both these were hellish, neither worked) If you ever read the story with the man who drank the entire sea, but was still thirsty, I could be his wife. I am often so dry my throat hurts.
:: any food, drink, clothing choices, I should avoid??
:: what if I sit on my bag & squash it??
:: will it hurt/feel like I'm wetting when it's done?

When finding supplies, I found I may be someone's dream woman